My New found Knowledge- Another upload

I know I stated I was not going to upload anymore of the book, but it's moving like snails to get published. Another important factor is people are requesting more uploads, which I'am extremely grateful for.

So without further delay, this is another upload.
Recently I was going through a little drama, and felt down. I referred back to "This is 2005", and found this chapter. It helped me alot. So, I think this one, should be a good one.

This chapter is towards the end of the book. I finally seen the light.





I remember this day, like it happened a second ago.

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I felt rejuvenated. A weird feeling came over me. I felt like I didn’t need HIM. That morning, I sat down and thought about everything I went through that year, which was 2005. I felt like, Christmas really broke the camel’s back. I realized, I need to put my needs, wants and concerns first.
God is an awesome God. I realized God loves me. I wasted my time praying for this man to come back to me. When the person I should have been praying for is me. I should have never prayed for a man to come back to me. If the man really wants to be with me, He will come back.
I realized I have to love myself first to receive love from someone else.
I realized I do not want to be the victim anymore.

I walked to the bathroom with all this new found knowledge about life and myself. I stood in the mirror and smiled. This was the first time I genuinely smiled to myself. I removed my t-shirt. I un-strapped my bra and pulled it off my arms. I pulled down my underwear. I stood in front of the mirror completely naked. I looked down at my body parts and touch each part of my body. I looked in the mirror and said, “ I love me.” Tears started pouring from my eyes. I love my small breast. I embrace it. I love my skin color. I embrace it. I love my hair; length, and texture. I embrace it. I love that I have no butt. Well, that could be fixed. Maybe I’ll get one in due time. But, I will embrace it. I love me. I was crying uncontrollably. I screamed, “Thank you Lord.” I was crying because, I believed it. It felt extremely good to say it, think it and believe it. I realized if you don’t like it, change it. We have access to all this wonderful new technology, that we can take advantage of, a little costly, but hey. But for the most part, embrace it. It’s going to be here for a while.

I played Fantasia Barrino’s first album Free yourself, that entire year. She always professed that she was tired. I would say to myself, “damn, she is always tired.” I felt the same way. I was tired. You will know when you are tired of something. A man, a job, family, whatever it is, you will definitely know.
We always say we are not going to call the person, or we not going to associate with the person anymore, then ten minutes later we are calling the person. Trust me; I cannot emphasis this enough, you will definitely know, when you are tired. A feeling of relief invades your body. Your heart, mind and soul, is singing in harmony, “I’m tired”. I smiled at that feeling and let it go. I know how much I am worth.
I realized, I didn’t want HIM anymore. I wanted to be on my own. I think now, I have to find myself; you see how the tables turn. I wrapped my arms around my body and tried to hug myself. This poor little body, been through a lot. I felt sorry for myself. The only person, I need is God.