This thought just popped in my head. lol

I am sorry; I have to share this. I don't know why this story entered my head, but I am going to share this. So, I remember an ex boyfriend I was dealing wit; and let me just put this out there, it was the worse relationship I ever had. I can't even try to cover it up. It was the worse. Anywho, I remember he got upset for something. I'm sure it was a petty reason, something. I remember him stating something along the lines of; yeah you're skinny who is going to want you. I just looked at him and started to laugh. He was dead serious attempting to hand me that diss. Ha, a supposedly diss. Let me tell you; if I wasn't secure in my body, in my thoughts and in my life, that comment could have gotten to me. It may have gave me a little bruise. No, not a bruise maybe a little irritation on the surface. But continuing on, I laughed and looked at him and said, "everyone wants me including yourself. That's why you're here. Who wants your big, black and ugly self?!" I know that was wrong to say but come on; I needed him to looked shocked. He started going on but honestly it's a blur. I just shut him down with a raggedy comment and that fool was lost for words. My point is, it's funny how a person that supposedly love you, that claims to love you, gives out negative comments to bring you down. Since their self-esteem is low they want someone else to share that pain. They want someone else to hurt. That is crazy to me. How I interpret that kind of behavior is that, that person never really loved me. Love does not hurt. I refuse to give anyone that power to ever influence me to look down at myself. Never!! A person that claims to love me will never think about attempting to bring me down. People who love you will never think to bring you down with their words or action. Think about it. It took me a long time, over twenty years to be comfortable and content in my own skin. People will only do what you allow them to do.

It's been super long

Sighes... I am finally back on. I am extremely grateful to God. It says, my last post was in 2012. Sighes... I cannot believe it's been that long. I have to make an effort to post. I have to take this serious. I want to open this post with my evolution. Since 2012, I have grown and I have evolved. I love me some God. I love me some Jesus. I love me. It took me so long to get to this point. Ever since my relationship with God has grown, my thought process is different; my walk is different; my speech is different. My faith has grown stronger. I let God take control. I do not worry about a thing. First and foremost, it doesn't make sense to worry, it is going to be what it is anyway; so, I just pray for strength. Recently, I have been hearing people say that I am such a positive person. When they speak to me, they can get a good conversation. lol As of late, that is exactly what I want to hear. I want to be positive. I enjoy positive conversations. I get excited when I talk about ways to better our future. #justsaying I am going to end this post, because I am struggling. Maybe I will come back and edit later on, but I am stuck. I think my words are starting to make no sense. lol Let me end it with this..... ten thousand tongues will never be enough.