What does "Turn my Arms into Wings" mean? Why did I pick that title?
Mmmm ever since I can remember, going back to my childhood. I always had a deep admiration for birds. I envied how they can pick up and leave at any moment and time, good times or bad times.
When my mother would discipline me, I would close my eyes and wish I could fly away.
At school, when I would get teased for being skinny, I would close my eyes and I wish I could fly away. Anytime I wanted to escape, I would envisioned me flying away to a different atmosphere/environment, please, a new world. Mars, are you there? (laughing)
The year of 2005 was no exception. One day I took it as far as going to my balcony and contemplating whether I should try.
One day I stared at the window with tears in my eyes. I wanted to escape the drama once again. I looked up into the sky. I tried to part the clouds. I wanted to find God. I needed to see a reflection, anything that resembled him, a spirit; just anything to show me someone is listening. I closed my eyes after I felt someone can hear me and I said out loud "Turn my Arms into Wings." I pleaded "if you love me, you would do this for me. If you love me you would rid me of this pain."
"This is 2005" came about for that year. That is self explanatory.
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Soraye,
ReplyDeleteThanks again for sending me the link. When I read this excerpt in particular I felt a little choked up. Your blog is inspirational -not only because of the fact that you can be so honest and candid about all your pain and trials, but because in the end of your year you heal and become a more complete person/woman/soul. What I like best about reading this is that its so relatable -so many women/men have went through similar struggles in relationships and to know one is not alone is a truly special thing. So, thanks for sharing and I can't wait for the book to come out!